Every Road Leads to an End

I have heard this saying before in my life and I never really understood it.  Maybe that is because I think every road leads to something bigger and better.  

I would like to think that roads may twist and turn, but each road is an adventure that can lead to amazing and wonderful things. 

In life I have traveled down many paths and many roads.  Some were successful, some not so much. 

I figure that destiny will lead me down the path I am supposed to be on.  This may be because I avoided another road. I am good at avoiding roads.  If it is too challenging or complicated, I have been known to avoid it. I am not a fan of confrontation or causing myself to face adversity.

I’m currently faced with a number of conundrums in life.  My career, relationships and just life problems.  I am looking down a number of paths and each one has countless possibilities.  Which one will hurt the least amount of people? Which paths effect the least amount of people?

I would like to think of life as simple, but this thing called emotions is shattering me physically, mentally and emotionally.  I keep taking the road of helping others, but right now I need that shoulder to cry on.  Messy crying.  Lots of wine.

Learning to be alone. It’s not easy. It’s a path that I knew I was going to go down eventually, still not ready for it.  It hurts. 

Since every road has a different path, and I guarantee none of them are straight, I am finding out that I have some books to read, creativity to use and hobbies I need to start. 

Which road?  Where will I end up? 

Only getting out of my head and letting time pass will tell. 

Dating 102

Grab a cup of tea or wine if you prefer and settle in for some some dating humor. 

I first posted about my dating escapade on February 3, 2017. Since then I shared a recent dating catastrophe with you and figured I would share with you some of the humorous sides to those who have shown interest in me. 

I try not to judge, but seriously your face should be sorta visible so I can see if there is some kind of attraction.

I am glad you are here…I’m not!

Please stop yelling at me ~ it is bad etiquette.

I respect you smoke, but find it unattractive as a profile picture.

Keep on desperately wanting me…I don’t think I will be messaging you.

Are you famous? Were you on The Office?

My last guy at least had a real face…

I am all for being open to dating many different individuals until I find one that I click with, but I don’t think I am hideous and I don’t think that I am unreasonable in my profile. 

Maybe I am looking for someone that doesn’t exist or maybe I am too picky. 

Is my profile bad?

Regardless, I am still in pursuit of the love of my life and am trying hard to keep an open mind.

I wish those who are looking the best. I always do message others back, letting them know if I am interested, or not.  What I find weird, the lack of general respect for women.  It feels strange to be the one who messages first, makes that first move or is more forward than most. 

I recognize that not everyone will be a match and there will be a lot of mismatches before Mr. Right comes across my phone.  I keep swiping left and right, sending the first message and crossing my fingers that he comes across my screen.

Any tips or tricks are welcome!

Dating 101

After posting about starting online dating last week, I was vigilant in checking my apps a few times a day and generally responding to messages and sending a few of my own. 

This is what I have come across:

Could you possibly answer my question?

I kinda feel sorry for him, he has never been to a museum or sporting event.

Why are you yelling at me?

Is using proper grammar a thing anymore?

After I experienced those messages I did manage to go on a date with a person who “appeared” to be some level of normal. We liked the same things, both had children, he had a job and seemed relatively attractive. 

We texted back and forth a bit and then decided to meet up for a drink on Saturday.

I practiced safety first:

  • I let friends know where I was going
  • I gave them the guys name, photo & phone #
  • I met in a well lit & popular place
  • I drove my own car
  • I shared my location with a select # of people

Here is the cliff notes version of the evening;

We were supposed to meet at 5:30 pm he was late – he Übered there, I could technically walk there.   On the plus side, he did say he was running late. 

He gets there, I was on my first beer (I order the same thing every time) and had not had anything to eat.  He orders his beer and we get to talking. So far all seems good and we are carrying on a lively conversation.  We finish our first beers and start a second round. We talked about about sports, being from Cleveland and now in Buckeye Country I can talk about sports all day long.

After about 45 minutes of talking POOF – he buys two tickets to the CBJ game that was starting in 22 minutes downtown. I wanted to eat, I was hungry and wanted fried pickles.  I was excited at the spontaneity, so I downed my beer, signed my check and he ordered an Über to drive us down there, because I had to chug my 2nd beer and would not have been okay to drive and he had Übered to the date. 

Fast forward….

We get downtown.  I had to go to the ladies room when we got there and while in there he got 2-12oz beers immediately while I was in the ladies room.  

** notice any red flags yet **

Since we Übered down there, I didn’t have my car and he started to get obnoxious around 1/2 way through the first period.  It’s hockey, we are always obnoxious, but this was a new level of ridiculous.  When you are yelling inappropriate things and just talking smack to strangers, I just wanted to sink into my seat and cry. 

During 1st intermission I went to get coffee and something to eat (because we never ate food) and came back to him with two tall Budweisers in his hands.

At this point I was just beside myself.  I quietly drank my coffee and ate Tim Hortons (which if you know me I hate) and tolerated him being louder than most in addition to being touchy feely. 

I suffered through the game and his massive obnoxious and loud behavior and continual drinking. He asked me all kinds of strange questions and offered up some questionable items about his past. 

My tipping point was when we saw a lady fall as she was putting trash into the garbage and even though she still managed to get trash into the can, she fell and he yelled out “Way to make it in there” with no consideration of her possibly hurting herself. 

I was beyond angry at this point.  We made our way to the exit, while he finished his last beer.  He kept asking me to go out elsewhere and to continue the night.  I kept declining and was adamant about going home. He was all in my face asking me if I had a nice time and if I liked him and wanted to see him again. I just was trying to politely get away. 

At the end I just called for my Über and asked to go our separate ways, I needed to get home to Pippa and I was not feeling 100% either. 

While waiting he started telling me about his dog dying recently and thinks his ex-girlfriend poisoned her. He was almost in tears. I started to feel bad and he got even more hands on by starting to touch my chest asking about my scars and wanting to see them.

Really dude?

My Über was delayed due to construction downtown and roads closed for Sunday’s 5K, which made it more miserable and cold.

Finally my Über came – I was freezing, didn’t have my coat, because I didn’t plan on going to a game – he asked to kiss me and I said I don’t kiss on the first date, I just wanted to get home. 

When I said have a nice night and thank you + get home safe, he said he was going to the bar to drink more. 


Where do I go from here?  I move forward and keep trying. 

On the + side, I’m rocking my new look!