Thoughts on Motherhood

I started this on May 19, 2017 ~ finally finishing and publishing on May 30, 2017 ~ Motherhood has me all kinds of cray-cray!

Everyday I read and hear people tell me how hard Motherhood is, how hard it is to work and raise kids or how hard they have it as a stay at home mom.
When I start to think about my life I am very grateful that I don’t see Motherhood as hard.  It has its challenges, that is for certain. 

My daughter is now 18.  

She didn’t arrive in a smooth fashion, instead she showed up early and spent 45+ days in the NICU. That wasn’t easy, going home and not taking my daughter with me. 

I get a lot of people who don’t understand how I am not upset when my daughter is not home for extended periods of time. 

I have been divorced since 2001, I’m used to not having her home.  I have always shared her with her dad and his family.   

Do I love her any less?  No.  Am I a bad mom when I don’t miss her as much as other parents miss their kids?  No. 

Have I cried over the last 18 years?  Sure I did.  I have cried a lot, as there have been many things to cry about.  Today was one of those days.  It was her last day of school.  Today I took her to school, picked up leftover artwork and knew that it was the last day she would buy her coffee and water and walk the halls as a student. 

Then I sat in my car and cried.  Will I admit it openly, no, but I cried. 

In my opinion Motherhood is not hard.   Then again maybe I am not a normal mom.  I enjoy a clean home, but I would rather some home from work, cook dinner and sit my ass on the couch and enjoy the couple hours of quiet than scrub a bathroom, vacuum or clean litter boxes.  I also live in an apartment, so on a Saturday I can clean top to bottom in 3 or so hours. 

Maybe Motherhood doesn’t seem hard to me because I don’t have a spouse or significant other at home with me.  This means no fighting, no setting expectations for another person and being able to do your own thing.

What I do know is, my opinion on Motherhood will always be it is hard, you never get a day off and you will never feel the same kind of love that you get when a child hugs you, no matter what the age. 

We are now 72 hours post-graduation and all I know is the tears keep springing up and I realize how much I will miss her in my life each and every day.  

Just as my mother has loved me through my good, bad and ugly I shall do the same as my daughter makes her way through life. 

Hug your families a little tighter this evening.