Tonight I sit at home in pajama pants with the sky darkening and threatening to rain. The dog is snoring next to me, the cats are scattered and sleeping. We are all pleasantly exhausted.
Tomorrow brings about Sam coming home for a few days so she can get her college orientation done and a doctors appointment. This week at work is crazy busy, but will be fulfilling as always.
I still find myself saying “sigh” tonight, even after reading, making a huge bowl of pasta salad, watching Orange is the New Black and straightening up around the apartment. I feel unaccomplished and like I am not doing something I should be.
I sigh because my heart is heavy. I am lost without having my baby girl home every night. Cooking for one has been a challenge. Pippa misses Sam and so do the cats. I sigh because I realize how many things my daughter has done to help me around the house that now I am doing. I sigh when I want to talk about my day and she isn’t here.
I am grateful that she is heading to college and I am so happy that she has a bright future ahead of her.
The sigh is because, while I know I have friends, I feel lonely. Like there is something missing. I’m ready for the next chapter in my life. I’m ready to explore and cross a few things off my list.
As a single woman, who is pretty strong, I wonder – am I a superhero? Does being a superhero mean I can’t sigh?
Sigh, I just don’t know.