The Ones That Got Away

I have been doing the dating thing for a few weeks now and have been sharing with you some of the good, but mostly the bad.

As I am moving into “dating” someone (this means more than one date) I started to have some second thoughts and began thinking about those good guys that got away in past years.

Let’s start with the first man I dated after my divorce.  We will call him “Friendly” as we met at Friendly’s when I was working at the one in Sandusky and later Toledo. He had a wonderful family and loved my daughter dearly. When he decided to go to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh,  to pursue his dream, we tried to make the long-distance thing work, but it didn’t.   We tried to rekindle our relationship years later, but it just wasn’t right.  He now has an amazing job working for an NHL team and his family all seems to be doing well. He was my first toe-dipping into dating and I thank him for that. 

We then move on to a man I met in a strange way.  If I recall correctly, he was best friends with a guy who was doing work for a company I was working at.  We met at a party, he kinda pushed me aside, but I persisted.  He was everything I ever wanted.  Good job, wonderful family, loved my daughter, treated me well and I was sure he was “the one” that I was going to be with forever.  He wasn’t, but it wasn’t for his lack of trying.  It was on me.  I miss him and wonder where he is now and hope he is happy.

Then I met someone, he and I had a short-lived relationship that involved hockey, hanging out watching movies, beer and some good times.  He has always been a good person to be friends with and even after 15+ years we still manage to meet up, talk and share a love of hockey. He also introduced me to a person who is still my friend and great adult for my daughter to be friends with. 

Fast forward through years of a lot of one – four month relationships that aren’t worth writing about. There were a couple of bad apples in there as well, all of that lead me to thinking another relationship wasn’t ever going to occur.  

Then after a lot of ups and downs in my life, I met “Blackhawk”. He was a friend of a friend, and was hands down amazing.  He took me to do some pretty cool things, but as fast as it started, it ended.  There was no meeting the parents, but it broke my heart in pieces.  I am lucky that he is still a “friend” who I talk to now and then, have dinner with when I am in town or meet up when at the same hockey game. He is a good person that deserves a good woman and I will always wish him well.

I don’t know how to classify this one.  He was a friend from high school that I met on a family vacation.  We corresponded via letters and long distance phone calls.  He had a girlfriend and I was just living the high school dream.  We went to his senior prom, kept in contact on/off for years. Then he disappeared and then poof, reappeared.  We did the whole dating thing and living together in a very unconventional and abrupt fashion. However as quickly as it started, it ended.  He is married now with an adorable little one and appears happy. I pray for him and his family, even though we didn’t work out, I hope his marriage to his high school sweetheart does. 

Then there is one last “one that got away”, but he has become my best friend in the world. He makes me laugh, cry and be angry – sometimes all in the same conversation.  We rarely go a day without talking and he has been the one who has gotten me through ups and downs in my life. He will always be a part of my life and I will love him always. Essentially he will never have gotten away, I will always have him in my life.

As I continue to date and look forward to what looks to be a 3rd date with someone coming up shortly, I am reminded that I am not the easiest person to be with.  I am a little OCD, a little controlling and in need of structure. When I find something good, I manage to crush it.  This goes for friendships, career moves and most importantly intimate relationships.

Here’s to being the rebel.  Being crazy. 

Real names have been protected!


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